film, love, and Ross McElwee

It was fall semester, 2007, when I was first introduced to a filmmaker whom I immediately came to be informed, influenced and relate to.  His name is Ross McElwee and the film was Sherman's March.  McElwee had set out to film a documentary about the route General Sherman took through the south during the civil war and too see how the south is still effected by it.  What happened along the way changed the film entirely, McElwee began to film the women he had met along the way and documenting the failures of his love life.  This struck me because of the way I felt, and still feel, about the lack of a relationship, a companion even, and the toll it takes on my ability to express creativity.  

During this time I was in search of a topic, an idea for my documentary workshop film.  After seeing this film in class and once again later that night I knew I needed to make a film that explored my feelings about the south and how empty I felt.  The next semester I set out to make my film, The South Lost the Civil War.  I traveled with my grandmother to the Mississippi Delta, the flattest area of Mississippi with roots in rich cotton plantations.  My grandmother was born there, raised and attended college, but left for Florida when she married soon after college.  Our family had owned slaves there and my feelings toward this have always been filled with guilt and shame for the south.  Upon visiting and shooting my film, a greater confusion and isolation engulfed me.  Unlike Ross, I had met no one of my age, let alone female.

UPDATE

I found some clips of Sherman's March on youtube. First is the first few minutes of the film, followed by a segment entitled This is Pat.